


1000%

by sweetrosei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Awareness Week, Asexual Character, Asexual Kozume Kenma, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, University Student Kozume Kenma, University Student Kuroo Tetsurou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 10:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12455499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetrosei/pseuds/sweetrosei
Summary: Kuroo's been in love with Kenma since he was a child and decides to finally do something about it.Kenma's out of the room before their lips can meet.





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**Author's Note:**

> Written for Asexual Awareness Week 2017
> 
> Warning: Some descriptions of anxiety.

The film was _awful_. They hadn’t expected it to be good but they’d hoped it would be funny-terrible. Instead, it was just plain terrible. Kuroo held in a groan as the lead actor gave another cringe-worthy speech, and looked down at the warm ‘kitten’ on his chest. Kenma had given up on the film within the first ten minutes and had turned away from the screen, laying comfortably against Kuroo instead. He had an arm loosely wrapped over Kuroo’s stomach and his head was just below his shoulder, resting there, half draped over him as Kuroo gently stroked his hair. Kenma had closed his eyes the moment Kuroo’s fingers had touched his hair and he looked so peaceful, Kuroo couldn’t help but smile. Moments like this filled him a warmth that was almost unbearable.

Kuroo had been very young when he’d realised he was in love with his best friend. It hadn’t been a shocking or life-changing moment. He’d overheard some boys talking about their crushes and their older sisters had been giving them advice on what real love felt like. Kuroo had immediately recognised it as what he had with Kenma. He’d gone home and mentioned it to his mother, who had been more surprised than him but had quickly accepted it and given him advice. Being so young and naïve, he’d assumed Kenma felt the same, but as he grew up he’d become less sure. So much of what they did had wandered into ‘couple’ territory, holding hands while they talked, cuddling during films, falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, but Kenma made no moves to imply he wanted to take things further and the odd occasions where Kuroo had tried to subtly suggest something never worked.

They were both at University now, different ones, but they still talked (or hung out silently) over skype most days. The distance hurt but it was manageable and they visited each other when they could. Both of them had come home to visit their families this weekend and they were currently in Kuroo’s room.

Kuroo stroked through Kenma’s hair, now dyed back to black, once more before trailing his fingers over Kenma’s cheek and jaw to tilt his chin up a little. He looked so beautiful, curled up with Kuroo and Kuroo felt like he was dying a little inside every second that he wasted having not confessed to him. Kenma opened his eyes, looking sleepy and a little confused at the movement. They locked eyes for a second before Kenma sat up and stretched. The moment was slipping away and he didn’t want to lose it again. Kuroo followed him, sitting up too. He needed to tell Kenma.

“Kenma, I-“ Kuroo started and Kenma looked at him, lowering his arms from his stretch. He looked so ruffled and adorable that Kuroo’s mind decided words wouldn’t be enough. He moved forward, hand touching Kenma’s jaw again. Everything froze for a moment before Kuroo went for it, leaning in to give Kenma a soft kiss filled with everything he felt about him.

Kenma jerked back immediately, jumping off the bed and backing away until he reached the door. He looked _terrified_.

Kuroo’s heart sank as his body flooded with fear and pain. “Kenma, I-“ He stopped, too shocked to know what was the right thing to do. “I’m sorry. I was…” was _what_? He was hurrying to try and save the situation, to stop Kenma from leaving and looking so scared, but he didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected Kenma to react like this.

“No,” was all Kenma said before opening the door and running through it.

Kuroo stared wide eyed at the open door. Kenma had gone. He’d said no and run. What just happened? Kuroo sat there, confused and alone in his room as the situation started to really sink in. Was Kenma _that_ horrified by him? Kenma didn’t seem to have a problem when Kuroo and Bokuto playfully flirted, or when Bokuto seriously flirted with Akaashi. So surely it wasn’t that? Was it just Kuroo himself?

What had he done?

**~**

> **Kuroo (10:06):** Hey, can I come over today? I need to talk to you.
> 
> **Kuroo (10:06):** Nothing bad, I promise. I didn’t mean to scare you yesterday. I want to apologise in person.

Kuroo put his phone down, hoping that was okay. Saying they ‘need to talk’ was bound to make Kenma panic but hopefully his brief semi-explanation would help. It was Sunday now, so Kuroo was free to visit Kenma whenever he wanted. _If_ he wanted. He needed to clear the air. He hadn’t been able to sleep, reliving Kenma’s reaction over and over and worrying if he could ever fix this. He couldn’t lose his best friend. He couldn’t live without him.

> **Kuroo (11:12):** Kenma? Please?
> 
> **Kuroo (11:30):** I’m sorry

Kuroo felt so sick he couldn’t eat his lunch. He hadn’t even bothered looking at breakfast that morning. What if Kenma never came back?

> **Kuroo (14:45):** My mum’s made cookies. She wants me to bring you some. Is it okay if I come over in 15 minutes?
> 
> **Kuroo (15:10):** I left the cookies with your mum. She said you weren’t feeling well. I hope you feel better soon.
> 
> **Kuroo (15:12):** Is it because of me?

Maybe Kenma really had caught a cold or the flu, but Kuroo doubted it. He’d been fine up until Kuroo had tried to kiss him. Kuroo worried he’d set off Kenma’s anxiety so bad he couldn’t leave his room and now Kenma was suffering because of Kuroo’s stupid move.

When it came to dinner time, Kuroo ate his food half-heartedly to stop him mum worrying before running up to his room to hide for the rest of the evening.

> **Kuroo (19:45):** I saw an advert for that new game you’ve been talking about. It looks fun.
> 
> **Kuroo (19:47):** Wanna come over and play something?
> 
> **Kuroo (19:49):** Anything at all
> 
> **Kuroo (19:56):** I can make you soup and you can steal all my blankets if you’re still not feeling well.

His stomach wouldn’t stop twisting. Kuroo was sure he wouldn’t sleep tonight either. He couldn’t imagine ever sleeping or smiling or enjoying anything again without knowing Kenma and he were okay.

> **Kuroo (21:27):** Kenma. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Can we just pretend this didn’t happen? I promise I’ll never do it again and we can go back to how we were before? You’re safe with me, I promise.
> 
> **Kuroo (21:41):** Please talk to me? Say anything.
> 
> **Kuroo (21:54):** Just let me know we’ll be okay eventually?
> 
> **Kuroo (22:33):** I miss you

Kuroo tried watching TV as a distraction but couldn’t bring himself to care about the characters or the plot. Even his favourite shows couldn’t keep his attention. He felt lifeless. He’d ruined everything in one move and he didn’t even fully understand how. All he knew was that he’d upset Kenma, badly, and that was breaking his heart. He couldn’t bear it when Kenma was upset, let alone when he’d been the cause and he didn’t know how to fix it. He just wanted his best friend back.

> **Kenma (23:59):** [ _URL_ ]

Kuroo jumped to scramble for his phone as it beeped. He’d been laying in bed in the dark, failing to shut his mind down when the noise jolted him out of his thoughts. As he saw Kenma’s name on the screen, his heart leapt and he opened the message as quick as he could. It was a URL and nothing else. He clicked on it and waited for it to load, confusion and anxiety coursing through him as he tried to work out what Kenma was trying to say. The link loaded on a purple, black, white, and grey webpage. ‘ _What is asexuality?_ ’ the page title read.

“ _Oh_.” Kuroo said to himself as understanding immediately began to dawn on him. He knew a bit about asexuality, having come across it while trying to understand his own bisexuality and the wider community but it had never crossed his mind that it might apply to Kenma. He could picture Kenma sat in his room now, wrapped up in blankets and panicking about Kuroo’s reaction to his coming out. He had to reply immediately and let him know he had nothing to worry about.

> **Kuroo (00:00):** Hey. Thank you for replying!! I know a little about asexuality but I’ll read it all now. I want to say though, you’re my best friend and nothing will ever change that. No matter what.

Hoping that was enough to ease some of Kenma’s inevitable nerves, Kuroo switched back to the website. He read the page, trying not to take too long but also making sure to read it all carefully so he could understand Kenma. He wanted to be a good supportive friend and make sure he didn’t accidentally fuck this up any more than he already had.

> **Kuroo (00:12):** I read it all. Like I said, you’re my best friend and nothing will ever change that. I 100% support you and I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. I know it’s late, but I could come over if you want? Or call you? Or keep messaging. Whatever you want.
> 
> **Kenma (00:15):** Messages are fine
> 
> **Kenma (00:15):** You’re cool with it?
> 
> **Kuroo (00:16):** 100% super chill!
> 
> **Kuroo (00:16):** For the record, I’m Bi
> 
> **Kenma (00:17):** I’m sorry for running away
> 
> **Kenma (00:17):** Do you
> 
> **Kenma (00:17):** like me?

Kuroo’s heart raced a little. Hell yeah he _liked_ Kenma. He didn’t want to scare him off more. He also didn’t want to lie. Kenma would work it out, most likely already had and was just waiting for confirmation, and that would probably be worse.

> **Kuroo (00:19):** Yeah, I do. But it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. We’ll still be best buds. Nothing has to change. I can handle it.
> 
> **Kuroo (00:19):** and if you did feel the same, you know I’d never pressure you into anything right? I wouldn’t try anything like that again. Ever. Unless you asked.
> 
> **Kenma (00:22):** You wouldn’t want to kiss me?
> 
> **Kenma (00:22):** or stuff
> 
> **Kuroo (00:23):** I’d only want to kiss you or stuff if you wanted me to. If you don’t, then I won’t, ever. That’s 1000% okay with me. I want you to be comfortable.
> 
> **Kenma (00:24):** You’re sure?
> 
> **Kenma (00:24):** Never?
> 
> **Kuroo (00:24):** 20000% sure. You’re way more important than any of that stuff
> 
> **Kenma (00:25):** What’s with the percentages?
> 
> **Kuroo (00:25):** I’m trying to express how I 100000000000% support you
> 
> **Kenma (00:26):** So you...
> 
> **Kuroo (00:28):** I?
> 
> **Kenma (00:28):** What do you want?
> 
> **Kuroo (00:29):** I want my best friend back
> 
> **Kuroo (00:29):** I’d also like to take you on a date, if you’d be interested? If not, let’s just hang out and watch shitty movies and go back to normal?
> 
> **Kenma (00:30):** Can we go on a date that’s watching shitty movies and acting like normal?

Kuroo’s heart almost burst. Kenma really wanted a date?

> **Kenma (00:30):** I don’t want things to be different
> 
> **Kuroo (00:31):** Things don’t have to change. If you’re sure you’re comfortable with a date, then hell yeah we can have a movie night date. Sounds perf tbh.
> 
> **Kenma (00:32):** I’m fine with a date
> 
> **Kenma (00:32):** I just don’t want to fuck you

Kuroo snorted a laugh at the response. If Kenma was getting snarky again then he had to be feeling better. Kuroo couldn’t stop smiling as he replied.

> **Kuroo (00:33):** Reading you loud and clear
> 
> **Kuroo (00:34):** Are you free tomorrow night? After school?
> 
> **Kenma (00:35):** Yeah
> 
> **Kuroo (00:35):** Great!
> 
> **Kuroo (00:36):** It’s a date!
> 
> **Kenma (00:36):** Yeah
> 
> **Kuroo (00:37):** I’m really looking forward to this
> 
> **Kenma (00:38):** Me too
> 
> **Kuroo (00:38):** You should get some rest.
> 
> **Kenma (00:38):**  You too
> 
> **Kuroo (00:38):** Goodnight Kenma  <3
> 
> **Kema (00:38):** Night Kuro
> 
> **Kenma (00:42):** <3

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are super appreciated! I love hearing your thoughts. 
> 
> I'm also sweetrosei on tumblr.


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